JOY

Dave16Have you ever had one of those weeks or days? Those days when you are looking anywhere for happiness, some circumstance, like a $5 bill on the side of the curb or finding that perfect sale… anything to change the outlook of a gloomy day. But Jesus calls us to something much deeper than the emotions of happy and sad. He calls us to JOY.

The story in Acts 16:11-34 fascinates me. Paul and Silas woke up, like all of us, desiring a great day and because of one decision they end up in prison. Talk about rough! What I find so amazing was in that dark prison cell they were aware of something much bigger going on than their being in prison. God was present.

In Psalm 28:7

“The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for Joy and I give thanks to him in a song.”

Psalm 30:11

“You turned my wailing into dancing you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy.”

Cornell West says it this way…

“The categories of optimism and pessimism (happy and sad) don’t exist for me, I am a prisoner of hope.” Jesus calls us to live out of a different place. Joy is not based on the circumstances of a given moment but a deep heart connection to the gift God gives. Joy comes from this deep awareness that life is a gift. Joy is not somewhere else, something to be attained, it simply is a gift to be received.

When you look at Joy this way it is easy to identify the 2 Joy killers.

1. Guilt and Condemnation that come by reflecting on the past. Avoiding living in the now because of what was. OR

2. Fear and Anxiety from projecting into the future.

Whenever we are consumed with the past or projecting the future JOY leaves the room, it cannot be present. JOY is receiving the beauty in this moment… even if this moment is in your opinion dark. It is this kind of deep seated joy that allows Paul and Silas to sing after being beaten and thrown in prison. Ya they could have focused on how the timing of their actions may have been wrong, why did we cast out that demon. OR tomorrow we may die. BUT they didn’t they engaged in the gift of life in that moment and a song came to them.

The story does not stop there… when you are clothed with JOY you will encounter others who are consumed by the messes of life (just like the jailor in the story) and you can invite them into this deeper relationship with Jesus where our trust and hope is in Him not in the circumstances of the day (his day in a moment turned really bad).

Like the Psalmist David, may your heart sing no matter what you are facing today…

Dave Harder | The Journey
Ph +1 613.261.0623 Web  www.thejourneyottawa.ca Blog  www.daveharder.ca


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What does “being missional” mean anyway?

Sherman LauIt seems that the latest trend in church ministry is “being missional”. In the 90’s, it was all about being “seeker sensitive”. I don’t know what the 80’s was about as I wasn’t a believer then. Whether, it is being “seeker sensitive” or “missional”, the church is constantly being challenged to remain faithful to its calling to share the Good News of Jesus Christ, baptizing and making disciples. I don’t think anyone can disagree that at the core this is the “mission” of the church. However, we now have a new idea we’ve termed “being missional” which really isn’t a new idea at all. As I understand it, “being missional” is loving, serving, sharing God’s love and message with whoever and whomever is around you regardless of ethnicity, social standing or creed. It’s basically loving your neighbour as Jesus said and did.

So, what’s the hang up? In my experience, I’ve discovered there are different interpretations of what “being missional” is all about. Admittedly, all agree that “being missional” is at the core of the church’s existence and purpose. However, the tension lies in who we are “being missional” to. There are those who hold the view that “being missional” is to share the Gospel with one’s kinsmen because there are shared experiences, values and beliefs. Others believe that “being missional” is to share the Gospel with anyone by crossing cultures or boundaries, seeking to find commonalities upon which to build a relationship on.

In reading through the Book of Acts, we find that this is not a new tension. The church in Jerusalem were “being missional” by evangelizing their Jewish brethren on the mandate that the Gospel was to shared with the Jew first and Gentile second. The church in Antioch was “being missional” by evangelizing to whoever was in the city. The tension came when the Jerusalem church were growing concerned with the increasing number of Gentile converts, and insisted that even though they were saved by the grace of Christ, they were to still adhere to Jewish traditions and practices to be “truly” converted. It took Peter’s testimony to change the opinions of the Jewish leadership, having experienced a revelation from God on what is “clean” and “unclean”.

As I reflect on this tension, I have come to realize that both approaches are neither right nor wrong; although, it came across that way. Both camps may sit across each other, one chastising the other for not having love for their own and the other judging the other’s “selfishness”. Interestingly enough, both feel justified in their beliefs and can’t understand why the other won’t see it their way. This creates hurt feelings and conflict.

What are we to do? Chalk it up to irreconcilable differences? I have come to realize that “being missional” is not a trend, church program or mindset. I believe that “being missional” is very much about being true to who you are and recognizing that there are others who have experiences different than yours that shape their approach to life and church ministry. There is a lot to be said about ethnic upbringing, mono versus multi cultural context and church influence that define what “being missional” is about. However, I believe we can “be missional” together when we acknowledge and celebrate our differences as well as empowering one another towards being in God’s mission to whoever we have a heart for. God can use hearts like that, don’t you agree?

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The glory of God is all around us!

RebeccaStanleyBLOG4OK…so this afternoon I found myself alone at home for a few hours and decided to watch a movie. One that no one else had to like, in fact, a chick flick with enough kissing to bore my children and a sappy story line that would have annoyed my husband.   After 90 minutes the story of unrequited love was about to come to a climax with a wedding in Italy, when suddenly the DVD started to skip and lurch and finally the screen was blank.  How annoying is that!  I tried everything I could do retrieve the missing 3 minutes but I’ll never know what happened (I’ll admit, it isn’t a movie worth renting for a second time!).  Although I know that they ended up living happily ever after, I missed out on the details, the emotional journey and those special words that brought them past all of the hurdles into a future together (OK, yes, I know I sound sappy!).

One of my favourite stories in the Book of Acts is that of Stephen in Acts chapters 6 and 7.  Here we encounter “a man full of God’s grace and power” who is doing great wonders and miraculous signs among the people (6:8).  Some of the Jewish leaders begin to argue with Stephen and stir up false witnesses against him (does this sound familiar?).  He is brought before the Sanhedrin where “they say that his face was like the face of an angel” (6:15).  When asked by the priest if the charges against him are true, Stephen replies with a long-winded sermon (52 verses worth!).

We may be tempted to skip over the rest of this story as he highlights how the God of glory worked in the lives of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Joseph, Moses, Aaron, Joshua, David, and Solomon.  After recounting the story of the Israelites, he accuses his accusers of being stiff-necked people just like their ancestors.  Resisting the Holy Spirit, persecuting prophets and finally killing the Righteous One who was predicted by prophets of old, Jesus Himself.

Now, don’t miss the climax of this story.  The long history lesson places Stephen in the midst of a grand story…we may have heard thus story before (the story of God and His created people) but don’t miss out on the details and emotional journey of Stephen.  It will take your breath away in a much more profound way than the latest Hollywood blockbuster.

“When they heard this, they were furious and gnashed their teeth at him. But Stephen, full of the Holy Spirit, looked up to heaven and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing at the right hand of God. ‘Look,’ he said, ‘I see heaven open and the Son of Man standing at the right hand of God.’

At this they covered their ears and, yelling at the top of their voices, they all rushed at him, dragged him out of the city and began to stone him. Meanwhile, the witnesses laid their clothes at the feet of a young man named Saul.

While they were stoning him, Stephen prayed, ‘Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.’ Then he fell on his knees and cried out, ‘Lord, do not hold this sin against them.’ When he had said this, he fell asleep.”          Acts 7:54-60

The climax of this story always leaves me speechless, wondering at the grace and courage of this man, Stephen.  What kind of person has the face of an angel while standing in front of accusers?  Who can see the glory of God and Jesus Himself in the heavenlies?  From where does the strength come to forgive even while being beaten by a mob?  And what tender hand of God was on him as he passed from this life into the next?

While commentators may have much to say about this passage of Scripture, I cannot help but be swept into the emotion of it, allowing the story and its vivid details to stand on their own.  While we may have heard similar narratives, missing out on this one would be more than an annoyance.  It would be a profound loss.

Each detailed, unique story of the hand of God at work in the life of His church, His people here on earth – past, present, and future – adds to the glory of God.  May it take our breath away as we encounter stories of old and current displays of God’s Spirit at work in and through us.

This summer, enjoy that movie you’ve been wanting to see and haven’t had time for…run to the library for a stack of fiction to devour on the beach…AND rediscover the captivating stories of the Early Church as well as the unique stories within your own faith community.  The glory of God is all around us!

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Ruth

SarahBLOG2One of my favourite characters in the Bible is Ruth. She is such a fascinating woman. Her whole world falls apart around her very quickly: her father-in-law dies, her husband dies, the brother-in-law dies, and then her mother-in-law decides she is going back the land she came from (leaving Moab to go to Bethlehem). For Ruth, she as a choice: go with her mother-in-law and become a racial and religious foreigner or return to her own family where she would be viewed as a burden to her parents and be a second-class citizen. Both options leave Ruth in a deeply vulnerable position. After all, who wants to be the outsider and who wants to be a burden? Usually people strive for the opposite: inclusion and self-sufficiency. Actually we love these things: to be included and to be self-sufficient—productive, independent and normal. Comfortable.

But nothing about Ruth’s options or choice is comfortable. Either way, she is very much at a loss. Even more, when she arrives in Bethlehem, she and her mother-in-law Naomi will have so little that they will acquire food by gleaning from fields—a fate and kindness created by the Jewish law for the very poor. Not only is she an outsider but she is entirely dependent on the kindness of others to survive. Ruth is noticed by a farmer, Boaz, who it turns out is related to Naomi’s family. He, by law, as an obligation to redeem his fellow family members and purchase their land and in doing so, purchases Ruth as wife. However, there is one family member closer. When Boaz determines how to act, he knows that he must offer first rights of refusal to the more prominent family member. But this man does not want Ruth, foreigner and widow, as a wife. So he relinquishes his rights and allows Boaz to redeem the family. The transaction is completed and Ruth and Naomi are restored to their former status. Ruth produces a son, from whom the great king David and Jesus descend. It is a story with a satisfying ending.

But where is God in all of this? He has only been mentioned in passing. Ruth claims she will have Naomi’s God be her God. Albeit a big claim, we still do not see the work of God throughout the text—he does not intervene, no angels arrive, no signs are given. The entire narrative runs on the assumption of the sheer faith of the individuals. We know they believe in the God of Israel, we know they are Israelite. We see them being governed and actively living out the Law of God found in the Torah (first five books of the Old Testament). But God isn’t really an actor in this story—not a named character. If you were casting Ruth has a play, you would not have to cast anyone in the role of God.

And yet God is one of the most fundamental parts of this story. We see His law being used and used well, used properly…being used to redeem people. We see Boaz go above a beyond the call of the law to the heart of it—he seeks to provide kindness and good news to this young widow even in her most vulnerable position. God is working through Boaz, through Ruth, through Naomi all throughout the story, even if he is not named. Naomi’s faith was enough to convince Ruth that this God was worth following and therefore Naomi was worth following, even into destitution. Ruth’s perseverance and trust that they would be provided for, that her mother-in-law’s people would redeem them, that she could follow this God all indicate a faith and trust in a living, active God. Finally Boaz’s extreme kindness to a poor widow and a foreign woman are the incarnation of God working to provide for those he loves so dearly: the poor, the lost, the broken. God is redeeming through his people: through acts of kindness and generosity. We can have a whole story where God is incarnate and not explicit because of the power of the witness of incarnational living. Boaz’s actions are enough, Ruth’s faith is sufficient to tell the story without us being reminded God is at work: because Naomi, Ruth and Boaz know and their trust transfers to us.

So when it feels like living the gospel isn’t enough, it is. When it feels like you need God to be more obvious and forthcoming, remember he might be working for you through you neighbour. Your heart and your efforts are telling a story worthy of remembering. Please tell it—so that it cannot be forgotten. Boaz and Ruth would hardly have been able to conceive where their faith led. Trust that yours is also leading to see the Kingdom come.







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Paying It Forward

Sherman LauLet me start by saying, it is my hope and dream that every Christian church in Canada would be a reflection of the community in which it is located or planted. By this statement, I mean that every community of faith would reflect the ethnic, social, and economic cultures of its neighbourhood. I strongly believe this because I see this lived out in the narratives of the Book of Acts, where people of all races, lifestyles and social standing repented at the cross of Christ and began their new lives together under His grace. I think this dream would be considered “missional” Christian living because the focus is on reaching out to whoever is near us, rather than those like us. But the question that I have wrestled with is, “When do we take into account one’s effectiveness to minister in a given community?” Do we need to consider this? I have come to the conclusion that it is a reality we must consider; to ensure that God’s Great Commission is fulfilled to the best of that faith community’s ability.

I had the privilege to serve as the English pastor of an ethnic Chinese MB church in Vancouver for three years. This church had a long history in the community it was located in, which was basically between East Hastings and Commercial Drive. Talk about a community that is diverse in every way! The Grandview-Woodland area is best described as multi-ethnic, low-income, multi-generational, trendy and alternative. The church began as a street ministry led by Rev. Klassen which lasted for 20 years. During that time the church integrated a Chinese congregation, and eventually benevolently passed the building on them (realizing that their long-term effectiveness was limited due to language and ethnic cultural barriers) to continue God’s ministry to Chinese immigrants through the 80’s and 90’s.

As we consider the focus of Regenerate 21-01, I believe we need to consider the wisdom in this decision. It would be easy to say that the English congregation “abandoned” their mission and could have easily stayed to continue the ministry by learning the Chinese language and culture.

Admittedly, missionaries preparing for overseas missions go through language school and cultural education. It would be foolish for me to speculate on their intentions but I do know from personal experience the tension in making this decision, as recently my previous church relocated to another community that was more ethnically Asian in order to become a community church rather than a commuter church. The realization that we were limited in our long-term effectiveness where we were, prompted the church to move in this direction. The ministry at Grandview-Woodland is continued today by another church that is better equipped to minister effectively in the area. Pacific Grace paid their benevolence forward.

The decision to stay or go is a difficult one. It is easy to stay out of obligation or leave in frustration but it is the wise individual or church who considers the reality of their long-term effectiveness. I think it takes a lot of humility to realize when it is time to move on and “pay it forward” so that others may carry on the work.

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Being courageous in culture

JblogFor many Chinese growing up in North America, we witness the merciless mischaracterization of Caucasian believers in the caricature of Ned Flanders created by North American culture. The character is often portrayed as being stiff, outdated and out of touch with the world. I perceive a movement where Caucasian believers try very hard to stand opposite to that image, while they preach Christ’s gospel and remain ‘relevant’ and connected to youth and current culture.

Many churches are content to bring in cooler looking pastors, with cool hair wearing TapouT t-shirts, sending away older believers who still wear turtlenecks and use hymns. Many churches think in order to reach out effectively, they need preachers who utilize multimedia more than retired missionaries who only carry a Bible, and don’t know how to use email. I am happy to share that many Chinese churches have been importing these older, last generation, ‘Ned Flanders’ like believers, abandoned by the culture and some churches, and they have blessed many youth in Chinese churches.

Ferne Blair was a retired missionary who spent the majority of her years in China and Malaysia, preaching the Gospel and teaching Scripture. She enjoyed the purer things in life, like raspberries, books, and writing letters to her students and friends. She lived her life not knowing or caring about iphones or tweets, and she spent the rest of her days teaching Sunday school in a little Chinese church in Abbotsford.

I am glad she didn’t let culture affect her ministry or change who she was. Her passion for sharing the Gospel and teaching Scripture was fueled by her character and compassion shaped by the Holy Spirit.

We always need to remember, someone is always going to think we are outdated. You don’t even have to have gray hair and wrinkles to be considered uncool. I probably have youth in my church who think that because I’m not wearing the tight designer jeans, I’m old and out of touch. If someone tells me a story about blue-people who had something in their village that someone evil wanted to take, I automatically think about the Smurfs rather than Avatar. We will always be considered out of touch by someone. That’s part of life. But that shouldn’t stop us from being true our calling from God and the Gospel in Ephesians 1:3-14.

So to all brothers and sisters out there feeling outdated, please understand that there are people in this world who want and need people who love and know more about Christ than Dan Brown or James Cameron. Don’t be intimidated. Press on. Resist the notion of not being relevant, have confidence from 2 Timothy 3:16-17 that God’s word will always transcend and reach the hearts of people and create real change.

Ferne Blair passed away not long ago, but I am happy that she courageously imparted her values to a young 16-year-old Chinese boy living in Abbotsford. I have her travel chest in my den, the one she used to carry her belongings all over the world, preaching the gospel as best she knew how in China and Malaysia. As her chest sits by my flat screen TV and Playstation 3, it reminds me that the Gospel is the only thing that will remain and endure, because of uncompromising, determined, old school people who love Christ and their calling more than the praises of the culture. And now, as a pastor, I bring her passion for Christ and raspberries everywhere I go. Thank you Ferne being courageous in the face of our shallow culture, and for bringing home the gospel of Christ.

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Loss and Love

Dave15I have to say I absolutely love the way God calls us to live. He invites us to take his presence, his kingdom wherever we go and when we are awakened to that reality things happen … God things happen. I don’t know where you are at in your views of church and this Jesus life but God calls us into this way of living that is way more exciting than sitting in a church service listening to some dude talk. The church is real, active, alive, risky, and present in every area of life. In Ephesians 1:15-23 Paul talks about this power available to those who believe ― his church ― that has this task to “fill everything in every way.”

I have a pastor friend Darren Milley and we both claim the local Starbucks as our office, and when we are together pretty cool things tend to happen. They other day we were chatting about God, church and life and a beautifully spirited twenty-year-old said, “I heard you are priests, can I sit down and ask you a couple questions?” Sure grab a seat!

She then went on to explain how the teen that died in a car crash was her friend and she proceeded to ask, “Where is God when it really hurts? I mean how could God let something like this happen to such a great person?” What do you say in those moments? Do you try to say the perfect thing or give the right answer? Talk talk talk talk to avoid the question? Give a deep theological rant? Or say I don’t know…? WHAT?

I love that God does not ignore the cries of the broken and afflicted. He says, “When you cry out to me I will listen.” So we simply joined her in her loss and reaffirmed her pain and said God was present. We encouraged that whatever she was feeling was OK, and, while in that place, to be open with God and share her feelings because he was fully present, sitting there, and grieving with her ― and offering her hope.

Yes, bad things happen all around us, pain and suffering are part of life. Since the fall in the garden things are not the way they are suppose to be … but in that place God cares and responds, “I am so sorry for your loss”. He cares so much about his creation that he makes the announcement that through Jesus he is going to make right ALL that sin made wrong. Side note ― Sin has been reduced to personal moral failure and it’s more than that, much more than that… Sin is everything not the way it is suppose to be. Sin is ALL that is broken. This includes relationships, abuse of money, power, the creation around us, you and me … Everything.

So we continued saying that in the midst of loss it is easy to focus on what you don’t have, the loss can consume you and in that dark place we can miss what we do have, GOD. He is present with you … listening, being, embracing. In your pain go to HIM! And then I asked the question, “In all the pain surrounding this loss, have you seen God?” She lit up and began to tell us where he was in all this. She talked about her sister, Dad and how she is finding him present. Hope was restored!

I am reminded of two people in the Bible who had two different responses to loss. Naomi loses her husband and two sons and she says “Call me Mara, because the almighty has made my life very bitter.” (Ruth 1:20) Mara is the Hebrew word for bitter which began to define her life. Job had a different response to pain and loss. He would not let bitterness in but chose to see that God is good in spite of all the loss around him. Don’t let bitterness come in, but like the Psalmist says, “You have allowed me to see many troubles but you will restore me again.” In a place of brokenness we can turn to Got to put everything, all the pieces back together. He is our Hope.

In the end she sympathized with the parents on that street with little children who were at risk, she hoped the message of the street race doesn’t sink in, that the good in his life will continue to be remembered, and she prayed his close friends would find the hope she was beginning to find.

I love these moments God brings our way where we get to join Him in putting the world back together. A small conversation allows me to walk out of Starbucks with this deep sense of purpose that I am with Jesus on His mission. May you leave the walls of church and begin to be his living hope in the world.

Dave Harder | The Journey

Ph +1 613.261.0623

Web www.thejourneyottawa.ca

Blog www.daveharder.ca

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Church meetings: From harsh to healing

RSI grew up as a music pastor’s kid, and began my marriage at the age of 22 as a youth pastor’s wife. My experiences of church Annual General Meetings (AGM) over the years have been painful. I remember the stress of the pastors and leadership team as they brought forward new ideas to the congregation, as they attempted to answer blunt questions about budgets, and as pastors were asked to leave the room so that people could speak openly about them (behind their backs). Most of all, I remember that at the AGM the church would vote on whether or not to give my dad (and later my husband) the 4% cost of living raise for the next year. It seemed strange to me that every person in the church knew my dad’s wages and voted on them, yet would not likely disclose this type of “personal information” about themselves to anyone!

Last night we hosted our Urban Journey Community Meeting, a friendlier way of referring to an AGM. But this time it felt different. We still talked about some of the same things (leadership, finances, future steps), but this time in a room of friends, as people journeying together into an unknown future. It was humbling to look back at what God has done over the last two years as our family has been serving as church planters/missionaries on the Westside of Vancouver in the Dunbar/UBC neighbourhoods. A faith community has been formed out of nothing—we’ve been blessed to have a great group of people living missionally along with us in this place. And we’ve had the joy of forming meaningful relationships with people in our neighbourhood, even creating a type of “village” of people with whom we raise our kids.

Last night we also looked ahead. Feeling as if we are only on the brink of what God desires to do in this area, we continue to dream together. As a community we’ve been looking at the “gathered and scattered nature of the Church” (for a great new book on this topic, check out AND by Hugh Halter and Matt Smay, the authors of The Tangible Kingdom). We see these two realities at work first in the ministry of Jesus and his disciples, but even more clearly as the early church is formed in the book of Acts.

As the 1st-century church came into being, it was living out the call of Jesus in Matthew 28:18-20 (NLT):

Jesus came and told his disciples, “I have been given all authority in heaven and on earth. Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”

As followers of Jesus we are called both to “go” AND to “make disciples.” It’s not one or the other; it’s both/and. We see this at work in the early church as they gathered together building on the model of the local synagogue, only now including both Jews and non-Jews. We also see these early Christians scattered throughout their cities and bands of missionaries moving out into nearby and far off places.

Being a very young faith community, we sometimes find it difficult to move more deeply into both of these realities, UJ Gathered and UJ Scattered. We rely on the Spirit of God to show us when to lean more into one or the other. We also pray that God would bring us the needed people and resources to do both well.

Over the summer, we invite you to join with us in praying for the places where UJ is naturally and purposely scattered. In these places, we have small groups of people building intentional community, serving Jesus, and reflecting God’s heart for all.

Prayer for Urban Journey in the Summer of 2010

  • Monday – The Musqueam people
  • Tuesday – Families in the Dunbar neighbourhood
  • Wednesday – UBC students
  • Thursday – Student families on campus
  • Friday – The downtown eastside
  • Saturday – Haiti (our partners in Jacmel), MBMSI, MCC, MDS (our conference agencies)
  • Sunday – UJ community



We are called to gather, but also to scatter…but this scattering does not need to happen in isolation. Grab some friends and scatter together! Find out where people in your church are naturally and intentionally building relationships and join in! And the next time you find yourself at an Annual General Meeting, remember that we are all in this together!

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We aren’t gardeners…

SarahBLOG2This is a story I wrote last year as I my husband and I started gardening for the first time. This year, in our new house, we were able to have a very large garden and are still learning from last year’s trials. In both cases, gardening has reminded me of God’s kingdom in numerous ways: growth, patience, reliance on God and the incredible flavours of the garden.

So Bryant and I are not gardeners. At all. Despite all the neglect in the world, our lilac tree continues to bloom. Every year I barely keep one hanging basket alive because by mid-August I am bored of watering. So we wouldn’t call ourselves green thumbs and the thought of keeping something alive is almost comical.

But we believe in the earth and in sustainable living. We believe that some things are good to do even we aren’t good at doing them. And we believe that people and land are always worth investing in. So this year, we invested a measly $10 and got a community garden plot behind our local community centre. We dreamt about what the plot could grow, we talked about the food we like to eat, and we learned (a very little bit) about how to help that process. But we aren’t gardeners. All of this was just one random attempt to do some thing beyond ourselves that we know is, at least, a good idea.

So we buy seeds, we get gardening gloves, we show up with our fellow gardeners to weed the land around the garden and stare at our yet-unplanted plot to try imagine it as something that actually bears fruit. Neither one of us is entirely convinced this can happen. Like I said, we aren’t gardeners.

One day, with our little seedlings, bags of seeds and our barely-used garden tools we traipse to the garden to plant. And we do, following the instructions as best we can (three university degrees later, we can barely understand the seed packets). We tenderly plant the seedlings in manure and when our work is done, it looks, well, okay. Some other gardeners have furrowed rows, elaborate layouts, beautiful stakes labeling their food and structures to help their plants. Us, well, we have tiny seedlings and pieces of wood stuck in the ground to tell you where they are and more weeds than I care for.

We stood back and looked at our now-planted garden and both of us shook our heads and implored the garden to “Please Grow!” Because as much I as could get the seeds in the ground, as much as I could water them, I couldn’t make them grow. Only their tiny innate mystery of nature could make that happen. Only the reality that they wanted to grow, that they were cared for to grow and that conditions were right for them to grow would let them grow. And we’re not gardeners, we are just people who wanted to see what would happen if we planted a few simple seeds.

That was three weeks ago. Today, we have lost two tomato plants to some little animal who thought they looked tasty. The beans are going crazy and the spinach looks good but I still have no idea what is a weed and what is food. Nobody seems to understand the question either. Clearly I would know a full grown head of lettuce from a dandelion, but when I ask what spinach looks like when it first comes out I get stared at like I’m growing spinach on my head. So when I go to weed I will inevitably leave more weeds than I ought to, but I so badly want my food to come in and be food that I would rather have too many weeds than lose the food that might grow. As summer goes on, it becomes more acutely obvious that we truly are not trained gardeners with tricks, knowledge or insight. But we are doing our best. We are getting some results and we learning with each success and each failure. And even though this is hard because it makes me realize my own limitations, I would do it over and over again.

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